I really thought it would be easier than this. “Starting fresh” just sounds so therapeutic. When I started my business almost eight years ago, I had no idea what I was doing. I was completely flying by the seat of my pants and was just very blessed to have some pretty amazing doors open for me. I don’t know what else to call it. It had to be luck because I sure didn’t know what the heck I was doing.
Knowing now what I didn’t then actually complicates things quite a bit. I wish I could go back and have the same mentality I did back then. I was like a kid who didn’t know failure was a possibility. You know what I mean? I wasn’t comparing myself to other kids. I just knew what I wanted to do and did it. Wow. What a ridiculously simple concept. Still, it is almost impossible once you’ve “been there, done that” to embrace that mentality again. Well, okay, at least it is for me.
On an aside: It truly has been a life-changing summer for me. I am missing my daughter like crazy. (She’s spending the summer with her grandmother 450+ miles away.) Yet, a few near panic attacks later and I realize that she and I both NEED time away from each other. I thought it was a “single mother” thing, the fact we’re both a bit co-dependent on each other. I’m finding most moms feel the way I do, married or not. I do know, instinctively, that our being apart from each other is helping us both realize our sense of self a bit better. It’s sometimes really hard to know where one of us ends and the other begins but it is important to know that we are in fact two separate and distinct people. I can love her like mad and letting her be an individual doesn’t mean I love her less. She doesn’t need me to micromanage her. I want her to trust herself.
Speaking of learning to trust ourselves… I recently discovered that I’ve been living with “crazy” for years. This is probably my most profound revelation thus far. Of course I knew it to some degree but fast forward to a scenario which resembles every woman’s dream and my inability to comfortably reside there and how could I possibly ignore crazy still lives here? No, none of that will make any sense to you and if it does, well, then chances are pretty good we’re sisters/brothers from the same “crazy” mother. (And I am in no way implying my mom is crazy. I’m talking about a “mother” figuratively… for those of you who like to take my words and run with them. And you know who you are and you kind of suck, a lot. I’m just sayin’.)
Anywho, I do plan to eventually bare my soul to explain the aforementioned. I’m just going to wait until I’m at a tolerable uncomfortable with doing so. Wow. I’m really making this post much more difficult to read than necessary, huh? Sorry.
Nah. It’s just that where turning 40 is a milestone for some to make significant life changes, I’m doing it at 38…
1 – I am going back to the way my name is spelled on my birth certificate. (Colleen with two L’s.) As I explained it to a friend when she inquired on Facebook:
“Long story short, my grandmother told my mom how to spell my name (incorrectly, with two L’s). I started writing my name correctly with one L awhile ago. I’ve decided that I like my birth name, misspelled or not. Anything coming from my mom (and grandmother) is perfect just the way it is. What can I say? With age comes wisdom. (And pure silliness, obviously! It’s an “L” for goodness sake!)”
2 – I’ve also decided (along with my husband, of course) that I do not want anymore children. We knew before we got married that we wanted to grow old together, spoiling each other and raising the children we already have. Something about being blissfully happy caused us to lose our minds for a bit.
We started thinking we may just like to meet our baby. We wondered if we would have a boy or a girl. What would we name him/her? What would he/she look like? (We already knew our baby would be beautiful, you need to only look at our Cara to know that. She’s Mr. Yummy’s twin.) We’ve regained our senses and we’ve decided we like being selfish.
3 – I’m taking up running! I have horrific dreams about it. For some reason I always dream that I don’t know how to run. How does a person not know how to run? I’m not sure but in my dreams I am always very awkward and slooooooooow. And I always have an audience of people watching. They don’t say a word. They. just. watch. I’m aware the whole time how ridiculous I look. So now I’ve decided I want to try it in real life. 8|
There’s just one last major change I’ve decided to make:
I don’t know how to explain why we have finally decided to put her to rest. Eight years is a long time! And considering I haven’t really done anything “new” in a long while, it’s quite remarkable that I’ve managed to live on custom orders alone. Especially given the economy at the moment, why would I decide to close my doors now when seemingly the universe isn’t quite ready for me to? Simply… because it’s time.
It’s difficult for me to talk about. It’s bittersweet. I am sad and yet very excited. I’m not saying “Good-bye forever”. It’s just that I’ve taken Coleena Bobeena as far as I can and still be happy. That’s not entirely true. I actually reached the point of being unhappy. I’ve been stuck. Truly.
So now we’re embarking on a new endeavor. It may look very similar to what I was doing before; however, we’re different. Everything has changed from the Artist’s heart to our actual geographical location. It’s a good thing. A very good thing. We are excited and we hope you are too.
I know this is much to digest. I am going to close for now. It will probably be a couple of weeks before I will have more to share with you. (My daughter is leaving me for two and half months to spend the summer with her grandmother and I’m going to use every free moment I have until then to spend with her. I know you understand.) )
Thank you for your continued love and support. I appreciate every one of you. Please do not hesitate to contact US regarding previous purchases still under warranty. We stand proudly behind our work. Warranties still apply and will continue to be a standard of our work when we begin our next chapter.
I am so bowed up! Here’s a quick video my husband made showing the Half-Scale Bowling Lane with Pinsetter that he built:
I think I’m actually posting this to my blog before he’s had the chance to post it to his. Oh well! Visit his site now: Basement Bowling. Good Job, Baby!!
I cannot recount a time when I have been as profoundly moved or touched. I am not, of course, discounting the joy I experience daily through my daughter. It is because of my love for her, my adoration for her, my unconditional devotion to her that I find myself touched by the tragedy of a stranger.
Madeline. When the story first broke that little Maddie had passed, I quickly donated what I could to the March of Dimes. I needed to do something. Something about this inconceivable tragedy touched me so deeply that the need to connect with her was more than I have ever experienced.
Heather (Maddie’s mother) has recounted the days after Maddie’s passing. Her words tore at my heart. Then I watched her and her husband’s video tribute to Maddie:
I was weepy but when I saw the little close-ups of little Maddie’s toes, her eyelashes, I broke into sobs. I couldn’t regain my composure. When I did, the only thing I could do was walk into my Cara’s bedroom and hold her.
This morning I am still so very affected. I have unrest in my heart. I am not sure what that means exactly. I do not quite know what to do with these feelings. I do not even completely understand why I am so affected.
I speak of perspectives. That sometimes when I’m drowning in my own personally created sea of drama, all it takes is a healthy dose of perspective to snap me out of it. This is different though. Normally I am well practiced in the art of sticking my head in the sand. I hear of a heartbreaking story long enough to confirm it is terrible and then immediately divert my attention to anything that would allow me to continue living in my self-made personal bubble where I enjoy my rainbows and my pet unicorns.
There is something in the beautiful face of little Maddie that would not allow me to look away. I feel myself needing to understand, to connect with her story. Perhaps it’s those beautiful blue eyes of an old soul looking at me demanding that her short life, all her struggles, not be in vain. Her life purpose is being fulfilled each time she touches someone like me and she feels convicted to take notice and do something.
Won’t you take notice too? Read this family’s story: Heather and Mike. Allow yourself to be touched. Do what you can, even if it is just to simply spread the word. The point is we can all do something. What will you do?
Designed by Maddie’s mother and father in honor of their beautiful little girl, Maddie, you can purchase a “Maddie’s Monster” for $25. All proceeds to go to the March of Dimes. Their sweet little girl lives on through the people her passing continues to touch. Please let her touch you too. Purchase your “Maddie Monster” here: http://www.curlyqcuties.com/maddie
Sometimes life can make you crazy
It can really put your body to the test
You try so hard to make sure everything goes right
And you find you’ve only wound up with a mess
It’s a common situation
Even though you feel abandoned and alone
Child, you ain’t the first to experience the hurt
So don’t panic when you hit the danger zone
What you need’s a little change of heart
Forget this fear and frustration
Love will always play the greater part
When your battles wear you down
Here’s my advice -
When you’re feeling down and out
And you’ve got trouble on you mind
Love will save the day
When your worlds falling apart
All you have to do is say a prayer
And love will save the day
Love will save the day
Love will save the day
Many things in this world bring you down
It’s a wonder you can make it through the day
Well, you can’t sleep cause your problems are too deep
And there’s always something getting in the way
And when you turn on the evening news
Mass confusion is the only thing you see
Well there’s no question that we need a new direction
Cause we all could use some peace and harmony
What you need’s a little change of heart
Forget this fear and frustration
Love will always play the greater part
When your battles wear you down
Here’s my advice -
When you’re feeling down and out
And you’ve got trouble on you mind
Love will save the day
When you’re feeling full of doubt
And fear has got you in a bind
Love will save the day
When your worlds falling apart
All you have to do is say a prayer
And love will save the day
There’s an answer in your heart
So let your light shine on my dear
And love will save the day
Love will save the day
Love will save the day
Love will save the day
Love will save the day
Love is gonna save the day
You’ve gotta believe it
Would you like to learn how to make a ShrinkyDink Ring? (Brought to you by PlanetJune.com)
I am just featuring three of the projects for which this site offers instructions (with patterns)! Oooh… Aaah… (Brought to you by KaiserCraft.net)
Yes, I know Christmas is over. However, if you are like me, you’ll need every bit of the next eight-plus months to get your holiday projects completed. (Brought to you by EddieRoss.com)
In truth, I could go on with this list for days but I have work to do. This is at least a good place to start.
Anyone else would take this down time and use it to be productive. There are gemstones screaming at me right now to be wrapped in silver. Or, at the very least, I could be updating my newly created profile at byhand.me.
That’s just not how I roll, apparently. Instead, I read one tweet from Queen of Shake Shake and I’m sucked into YouTube and these videos by Lisa Nova:
Part 1
Part 2
Yes. I realize everyone has probably already seen these. I don’t care. I get it. I twitter. I read more than I actually tweet though. I follow links and then whine about getting sucked in. That’s what I do.
ColeenaBobeena.com is down! I’m pretty much done freaking out because there’s not anything I can do about it. It’s a waiting game now. I’m debating forwarding ColeenaBobeena.com to its blog (here) until it’s up and functional again (Please, God, let it be tomorrow!).
I was on a roll! I had updated all of our inventory to economy-friendly pricing. The adjustment means a 25-50% discount on almost everything we offer.
We have implemented PayPal and Google Checkout along with our own credit card processing capabilities. When I say I was on a roll… I’m so not exaggerating like I usually do.
And then it happened….!
Something involving a SSL certificate and the words “accidentally deleted” uttered by my hosting service and we find ColeenaBobeena.com in the midst of a server change that could put us out of commission for “up to 72 hours”.
I’m going insane. Completely. I was actually literally in the middle of editing some code. All I could do then was jot down some vague notes about what I was doing when the site went down. Did the changes save? I have no idea! I picture my ColeenaBobeena.com coming back to life fully exposed and non-functional. My poor baby!!!!!
If you are someone who was trying to get to ColeenaBobeena.com and you ended up here, please send me a note and allow me the opportunity to let you know when we are operational again. (I’ll probably also include an additional discount code to bribe encourage you to not write us off all together.)
I’m going to troll some YouTube Videos now so I can get my mind off of things. Maybe I’ll find something post worthy. One can hope.
As of late my muse is listening to three very colorful, spirited girls and it looks as though you are going to be seeing more whimsy from Coleena Bobeena!
Now, don’t you worry my girlfriends! I will still be catering to your fancy. (Just you wait and see what I have in store for you!) In the meantime, maybe you, too, need a little whimsy? After all, these pins are for all of us who remain young at heart.
Spring, where are you? Can’t you hear my calling? I crave new blooms and warmer air. Everything still sleeps and the air is quite nippy. Mean winter.
Ho hum… Until your visit I will sit here at my window weaving flowers of my own in rainbow hues. This will simply have to do until you arrive with your Spring Bouquet. My pretties do cheer me so.
These happy little pins are almost too pretty to wear. I find myself spending entirely too much time looking upon myself in the mirror just to see the happy little thing smiling back at me. Perhaps I shall pin it to my lampshade or curtain instead. Hmmm…
Specifics: Made from Vintage 100% Viscose Rayon Raffia Straw, these pins measure a yummy 3.5 inches. The very center has a simple embellishment of sequins with a solitary seed bead. $4.00 ea
*These pins are not included in our six-month limited warranty as the raffia straw used to create this pin is, in fact, vintage and we cannot know for certain when or if we will have stock available to recreate this piece should something *gasp* happen to it. Tsk. Tsk. However, we do adhere to our 100%-Satisfaction Guarantee policy regarding this piece.
It’s just that where turning 40 is a milestone for some to make significant life changes, I’m doing it at 38…
It’s a good thing. A very good thing. We are excited and we hope you are too.
) 
